Bfly Note #7 : Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself
Or... You cannot go where I'm going.
The quality I cherish most in my closest relationships, is their ability to remind me of my roots and values, while constantly allowing me to reintroduce myself.
Over the years, I have grown deeply attached to who I am and I’ve had the chance to stay close to people who offer the same care to my core self, as they do the ever shifting versions of me they are presented with.
Some of my friends I have known for over two thirds of my life, without half of that time being spent physically together.
Yet, there is no one else in this world that would know me better than they do, because every reunion calls for a reintroduction, and every reintroduction is met with open arms.
There is comfort in knowing that somebody, even at the other end of the world, can see me at my most vulnerable state and know exactly how to handle me, because our relationship has aged with grace, just like we have.
We allow change to seep in, we share epiphanies, and learn and relearn each other, without feeling like a new note is a threat to the symphony we’ve so carefully composed over the years.
So our melody goes on, and on, and on.
In the same way my friendships have taught me that I was allowed and able to be mutable -even with anchors- love has become synonymous with movement and transformation to me.
It has taught me to be careful of people who want to keep me in boxes, of those who are too comfortable speaking in my name, and who too often and under the guise of good intentions, whisper fear and confusion into the changes I so long to embrace.
“This isn’t you” they will say obstinately, not knowing that my love asks, consistently, “Is this you?” and then, occasionally : “is this still you?”.
Knowing what love feels and sounds like to me has taught me that when I go, not everyone is meant to come with me.
So I have learned to travel lightly, for some things, some people, and some parts of me, are best left behind, in places where the voice of my love cannot seem to be heard.
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Traveling lightly does not mean that what isn’t essential is replaceable.
It means being aware that one’s needs can be fulfilled in multiple ways, so what is left behind isn’t discarded without care, but rather acknowledged and honoured for what it is, what it was, and what it could’ve been, and then consciously and decisively put back down so the journey can keep going.
Not everyone can, or will want to go where you’re going, because not everyone will allow you to reintroduce yourself.
Give those endings a funeral, then keep going.
You owe yourself movement, because love isn’t static, it’s fearlessly transformative. You do not have to fear being peregrine when you know exactly the way and the warmth of your home.
When I go, I do not look for shelter, I look for new horizons and stories to plant and grow in the garden I have always known. A garden that feeds my community.
For when I’m going, my soul tribe is going too, and our destinations may be different, but we know our paths always intersect.
When we reach our checkpoints, some of us may have tried to drag luggage that was too heavy for too long. So we sit, share and reorganize our baggage, until it is safe to go again.
Sometimes, some of us may not know what’s next. So we look up our routes and remind each other of our original plans. But for the reason that those plans are not shackles, then certainly, we ask.
“Is this you?” and then again. “Is this still you?”
Journal Prompts :
Are there people around you whose presence makes you feel connected to yourself?
Examine your relationships. How has your energy been for the past months and how do you think they have affected it?
Are there relationships you’re clinging onto, even though they have run their course?
Is there someone or multiple people you can call your co-traveler(s) ?
How do you feel about change? Who or what taught you to feel that way about it?
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Another fantastic read! I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve found that the process of reintroducing myself to people that I’ve met via the internet always seems to be a lot easier and seamless than the process of doing so with people I know in real life, namely those that I’ve known since I was a child. I’ve been thinking on that a lot lately and wondering why that is.
I greatly enjoyed this piece and the journal prompts are very thought provoking as well. Thank you!