Bfly Note #6 : On Finishing Things
The Tarot/strology Series
“Just Start” is advice you will hear often, about any idea you might have, or habit you try to develop.
Surely that is the case for a good reason, as no movement happens without an initial leap of faith. It’s only fair when most people hesitate to get started, to make that the main piece of advice.
However, the words I find myself repeating most often nowadays are “Just Finish”.
Frustration is the loyal companion of anyone who’s used to leaving a trail of unexplored ideas and abandoned projects behind them.
Finishing things is an entire task and skill of its own to me, that I am still learning to master — (and after recently being diagnosed with ADHD, it’s been clearer and clearer why that learning curve has been the way it has been.)
In April 2021, I gave myself the seemingly impossible task -at the time- of finishing an artwork series, without rushing it or abandoning it halfway through for a different idea.
It took me a year, and it could’ve been completed in way less, with a lot less grief and pauses but the point is : I did it.
I learned multiple things along the way that now make finishing what I start seem less sisyphean, and I think they are worth sharing.
Creating © BFLY | Instagram | Shop
First things first, I made the conscious decision that I would complete that project.
No matter what, this series would have to be done. I set that as the main goal from the moment I posted that first artwork— and I know I hate betraying myself.
So this meant regardless of the response it was getting, regardless of how many new ideas I had along the way, regardless of how long it took to actually complete it, I had to finish this, end of discussion.
Yes, sometimes I wanted to move to something new. Yes, sometimes I wanted to start over. Yes, sometimes I felt I lost interest in the idea and shelved it, even. But I had to finish it. Getting it done regardless of when and how, and having something to show for the effort I put in and initial excitement I felt was always going to be better than “Oh I once had this idea”, followed by trying to explain a concept that never saw the light, or never fully basked in it.
It took me a year.
Those pieces were far from the only pieces I made within a year but all that mattered was going back to that series eventually.
That took one consistent exercise: actively confronting the resistance I was experiencing.
Understanding and reframing my thoughts was crucial whenever I hit a roadblock.
Resistance doesn’t come from nowhere.
It’s rarely as simple as “I just don’t want to do it.”
Sometimes it’s “I don’t want to do it because I’m afraid I’m going to finish this and it won’t be as good as I pictured it, and facing that reality is scarier than letting that project just exist as a nice idea”.
Longer, harsher, but realer.
To that I had to answer, “no project of mine will ever be as good as I picture it, if I don’t give myself the space and time to practice my craft, and I deserve something to show for it.”
Then again, sometimes “I don’t want to do it” was “I got the initial excitement and ego boost I needed when I started the project, and now being in the thick of it isn’t as fun as just starting something new to get that rush back.”
So to that, I had to answer “The rush doesn’t stop the disappointment that exists when looking at all the could’ve-beens, or the shame when not being able to show the creations meant to back up that creator title”.
Longer and way harsher, but realer.
And then my favourite especially when being a creator on social media, “I don’t want to do it” was often “What’s the point? No one is paying attention, I can just move on to something else.”
And that brought me back to the third thing I had to keep doing.
Recommitting to the idea.
The tarot/strology series specifically draws from my biggest interests: tarot, astrology and just archetypes and symbolism in general.
While it should mean that it’s easy for me to stay interested in the idea of the series, it was easy for that to become an obstacle in itself : I could very much keep my interest in tarot, astrology and archetypes alive without having to draw the series.
But some things in particular made me start this : practicing to draw my own complete tarot deck one day, and subtly adding symbols I liked, to convey the existing ideas in the Major Arcana.
Thinking of how to blend these interests and add a personal touch, as well as having a series that could introduce what I like to a different crowd without having to actually sit down and make anyone learn tarot, or learn astrology to understand these archetypes that have been so interesting and helpful to me, was my initial intention.
That intention was still alive and still important to me. Reflecting back on it and reviving it, was crucial for me to stay committed.
Besides, whether your project gets a good response or not, guess what?
If you finish it, you can keep pushing it everywhere until you get the response you deserve, because it will be done, and ready to go.
Still, committing to any longer-term project means being kind to yourself.
I do not wish for every project of mine to take a whole year to complete. Nor do I wish for every project of mine to require so much emotional labour to stick to it. But it is crucial when doing this, to understand that it can only get easier if you do it, and it does get easier as you go.
It doesn’t mean you will complete everything you do, and actually some ideas should be scrapped and some should be prioritized— but it does mean that once you’ve had the experience of deciding to end something, of confronting resistance, and of recommitting to your idea when you inevitably, and i mean inevitably hit a plateau, or worse, a slump, it does make it much easier to move forward with any idea after that.
Finishing this project, regardless of how I feel about it now, gave me the courage necessary to tackle more because I know that I can have an idea and follow through.
There are ideas of mine living in high school diaries, in middle school pages, and in childhood memories. And now I know I have the capacity to honor them, should I choose to.
I know what to expect, I know I’ll have to make sacrifices and adjust some habits to get to it, and that I am capable of all of that if I want to, and it won’t actually feel like such a pain, since I now understand what makes it feel like such a pain to begin with.
If you’ve been familiar with any of my social media accounts or any writing I do at all, you won’t be surprised that the last point I’ll make is you should absolutely reward yourself, and celebrate every achievement, along the way and at the end of your project.
Every milestone of yours deserves a celebration, and that’s what makes them feel real and important.
The day I finished the series, I didn’t feel any rush, I didn’t feel like I was on top of the world or like I did something incredible. It just felt like okay. There. I did it.
That’s when you have to remind yourself of how much you’ve confronted to get that point. And it doesn’t matter what somebody else’s journey looks like. Somebody else could’ve done it in half or a third of the time I took to complete this, but my circumstances are unique to me, therefore my journey does not benefit from any comparison, if it does not take those into account.
Deciding to start anything and committing to it, means finding a balance with knowing when to push through and when you have to let go and understand yourself. If every break of yours breeds guilt, you’re either pushing too hard, or having the wrong frame of thoughts. However, if you find yourself spending more time making excuses to avoid making progress and not finding a way to work within your circumstances, then it’s not you being understanding or having grace for yourself, it’s you trying to make yourself feel better about self-sabotage and most likely, fear. That’s when you actively confront that resistance again.
April 2022 was always going to arrive anyway. I’m glad I got here with a finished project.
And you can view it here, with a walk-through and explanations.
Or just on my art instagram!
Until next time,
Bfly