Bfly Note #4 : To The Stubbornly Vulnerable Lovers
and f*ck the TikTok dating coaches.
“Young people are cynical about love. Ultimately, cynicism is the great mask of the disappointed and betrayed heart.” — bell hooks
Every time I love, it is a celebration of me being whole enough to spare a part of myself, and still end up with more.
It is a choice to continue being vulnerable in a world that says it is insane not to live inside an armour.
I simply love love. I love the sparks, the butterflies, the daydreaming, the sleepless nights. I love the vulnerability, the inspiration, the warmth, and yes, I truly do love the labour, the efforts, the building, and the hurdles.
I am a dating coach’s worst nightmare.
Not because I love recklessly (well… sometimes) but because while I know boundaries are an act of self-love— I also know that forced detachment and emotional unavailability aren’t.
My love cannot include games. It cannot include constant tests. It cannot be built with barriers, checkpoints, and power struggles. It just will not be trumped by the fear of getting hurt.
Lovedrunk © BFLY | Instagram | Print
So, this note is for the stubbornly vulnerable lovers.
Those who left a part of themselves in unsound connections that taught them to fill their own cups, but still never let any amount of pain be great enough to convince them they should stop pouring into others.
For those who silently take in everything they find beautiful in lovers who aren’t meant to stay, but still know to lock the door when they are ready to leave. Even when they leave with souvenirs.
This is a note for those who can pinpoint each place that was built by foreign hands that became familiar, when they look back at the map of their soul.
For those who are so committed to loving that even through eyes that should be blinded by tears, they see the lesson clearly before they even fully learn it, and grow just so their growing pains don’t remain pointless.
It is truly a wonderful thing to reach a place where love is not just something you try to find but what you practice every day, what surrounds you, and a transformative force that you decide to embody.
To reach a place where love is easy.
Not because it comes without pain, not because it is always successful, but because you do not think anymore that it has to be any of that, for you to stay committed to it.
Journal prompts:
If you had to teach someone else how to love you, what would you tell them?
Reflect on a time you truly felt loved. What made you feel loved then?
What do you think is your biggest obstacle in love?
For those interested in joining a community focused on self-growth, not only through journaling but also self-care and discussions in general, here is an invite to my discord server, which will expire 7 days from now : Bfly’s salon.
I send messages in there, with journal prompts that are not necessarily in the newsletter posts, and it is meant to be a peaceful space away from the noise of other social media platforms.
Hope to see you there, and until next time!
Bfly